NDEPENDENTLY SPEAKING
July 09


Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase -- Martin Luther King

Being out on the road as much as I am, I meet a lot of people. Most people I meet are either married, single (and hardly date) some are dating and frustrated. Some are in relationships that aren't serving them anymore and don't know how to end them.

Knowing when to end something is as vitally important as knowing when to begin it.

That's true in personal goals and projects, and jobs as well.

If you listen to my radio show, you know that I am on a year sabbatical from dating. I didn't realize how many listeners I had until people started asking me about it. First of all, I am extremely happy, and, I just realized a long-time dream of moving into my very first new home!

After being on the road for so long I am grateful to be settling down, which is a relative term when you consider that I am going to be in 6 cities in July!

I figured what better way to really get comfortable with myself, than to spend an entire year without the distraction of even a single date. And then I began to wonder. I wondered what life would feel like without a single kiss, or intimate hug. I wondered if I would miss the simple act of someone holding my hand, or looking deeply into someone's eyes.

However, these eight months have turned out to be more than magical for me. It has been easy. It has brought me many gifts. It has made me understand myself. It has caused me to focus on new goals, finish school, and get going on my new dreams. It has even further deepened my relationship with God.

And what I have discovered is that I do not have to miss any of the things that I wondered about. It has deepened my friendships. I hug my friends. I kiss my friends (well, not like that. LOL!) I hold hands with my friends, and, when I connect with people, I look deeply into their eyes. No doubt about it, I connect to people on a much deeper level, and all without the stress of sexual tension or expectations. I know, and they know, there is no possibility of attaching an agenda to anything. I am just being. The greatest gift of all is that I have come to love and appreciate myself and let go of any old programming from the past that did not support exactly that.

I love that we live in an age where it is no big deal if we don't have a "significant other." I have come to learn that there's no "better half." We're whole beings just as we are.

Yes, thank God, we've come a long way. If you need to figure yourself and your life out, take it from someone who is doing it. Take the time. It's worth it. You're worth it. And if you're time alone isn't self-imposed, then for sure change the way you are spending it and looking at it. Use this time to connect deeply with your friends, or make new ones. When we get right with ourselves, the rest all falls into place.

In Love,
Cat